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Wednesday, December 31st, 2008
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6:21 am - At least I know I'm still human.
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My heart is fucking broken. It has been ripped out and thrown in front of me and I'm watching the person who I trusted with it, trusted more than anything, dance around it like a sacrifice to the gods of regret and obsolescence. There was a time I would have been relieved to see her go- there was a time, not long ago even though it seems like eons in retrospect, when I would have breathed a sigh of relief to have her tell me she wasn't sure about us. Now I can barely breathe, period. I bought into this idea of love, of commitment, of opening yourself up and bleeding yourself dry, and now I sit helpless as she does just that. I give ultimatums I know I'll never keep- if you see him again, speak to him again, don't come to me tonight, then we're officially over instead of just treading water. I can't sleep. I haven't eaten in two days. I thrive when I'm in situations that would crumble most people because I look at the answer- I use the power I have to do something. She's asking me to wait, to give her time to think, to step away and let her go. I am complete fucking powerless. There is nothing I can do, no one to yell at, nothing to roll up my sleeves and begin. Just limbo. Just... fucking emptiness, wondering, waiting, inventing scenarios in my head and writing the monologues that I would respond with.
All I can do is pray to a God who I'm on rocky turf with anyway that she will come back. And it fucking hurts.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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5:01 am
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I. Am. Completely. Broken.
At least I will probably start writing again though. Fucked up counterproductive muse.
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, February 1st, 2008
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2:21 am - The answer, my friend...
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I hate watching movies about the 60's because it makes me feel lazy. Apparently there was a time when people my age (and younger!) truly believed that what they did had the power to change the world. And my generation (which I count myself guilty alongside) just sits and watches. What will it take to make us wake up and take notice? I just wish we could rally around... something... have some reason for living.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, January 3rd, 2008
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12:25 am - Because nothing I could say would say it like this...
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Some folks like to get away
Take a holiday from the neighbourhood
Hop a flight to Miami Beach
Or to Hollywood
But I'm taking a Greyhound
On the Hudson River Line
I'm in a New York state of mind
I've seen all the movie stars
In their fancy cars and their limousines
Been high in the Rockies under the evergreens
But I know what I'm needing
And I don't want to waste more time
I'm in a New York state of mind
It was so easy living day by day
Out of touch with the rhythm and blues
But now I need a little give and take
The New York Times, The Daily News
It comes down to reality
And it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide
Don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside
I don't have any reasons
I've left them all behind
I'm in a New York state of mind
It was so easy living day by day
Out of touch with the rhythm and blues
But now I need a little give and take
The New York Times, The Daily News
It comes down to reality
And it's fine with me 'cause I've let it slide
Don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside
I don't have any reasons
I've left them all behind
I'm in a New York state of mind
I'm just taking a Greyhound on the Hudson River Line
'Cause I'm in a New York state of mind
Thus begins what may be a new chapter in my LiveJournal life. It's too soon to tell.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
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4:34 pm
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So I've decided, after many great years together, to retire my Live Journal. It will now serve only as a time capsule for the past 4 years of my crazy life. Goodnight.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 24th, 2007
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7:41 pm - Top 5 Songs About New York- go!
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1. "City of Blinding Lights" -U2
2. "New York, New York" -Ryan Adams
3. "Another Hundred People" -Stephen Sondheim
4. "New York State of Mind" -Billy Joel
5. "Chelsea" -Counting Crows
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
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12:51 pm
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How fitting is it that on my first day back to classes after a life-changing road trip, we are watching The Motorcycle Diaries in senior colloquium?
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, March 5th, 2007
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3:26 am - I want to be the first person to predict this...
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| Wednesday, February 21st, 2007
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6:29 pm - Here we go again
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So for the first time ever, I have actually seen every single movie nominated for an Oscar in the major categories. That being said, ( here are my picks: )
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, February 11th, 2007
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7:49 am - If you don't love this, you can make like a tree and get out of here...
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5:30 am - Here we go...
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So Eric and I saw 3 movies in a row today, which was ridiculous, even for us, and in the midst of this cinematic overdose, we found time to discuss the Oscar contenders for this year. I will discuss, at painstaking length, my Oscar picks as soon as I see Half Nelson, which is the only contender for a major award I lack. However, we both agree that one of the biggest mistakes this year is The Queen's spot as a Best Picture nominee instead of the far worthier Children of Men (or Last King of Scotland). Nothing from Helen Mirren's performance, which was Oscar-worthy, but the movie, outside of that performance, is nothing special. So, in honor of Helen Mirren dragging her movie to the big 5, I decided to write a little top 5 list myself... Top 5 movies that I love because of the strength of one performance. Now, this is far from my Top 5 of all-time list, and it isn't even a Top 5 performances of all-time list. My favorite performance by an actor of all time is Kevin Spacey in American Beauty, but no one can argue that the movie had many strong actors and strong elements surrounding him. Same with my favorite performance by an actress- Elizabeth Taylor in Virginia Woolf. So- here goes- top 5 movies carried by a single performer.
5) Steve Odenkirk in High Strung
This was a ridiculous one-man show of a comedy from the early 90's that consists basically of Odenkirk sitting in his apartment bitching. It's sheer brilliance.
4) Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver
Jodie Foster was in the movie fo about five seconds, as was Cybill Shepherd, but you could strip out all the other cameos in the movie and Bob DeNiro would still kick cinema's ass.
3) Tom Hanks in Castaway
A given for this list.
2) Rosalind Russell in Auntie Mame
Cause, seriously, if you could harness that shit, we could solve the energy crisis.
1) (Ironically and appropriately) John Cusack in High Fidelity
John Cusack is every man to ever exist in this movie, and that earns him a top spot. Now, many people would say Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lili Taylor, Lisa Bonet and Jack Black were all instrumental as well... but basically, aside from maybe Jack Black, everyone else is irrelevant and Cusack carries the movie on his shoulders to greatness. Greatness I tell you!
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, February 8th, 2007
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4:10 am
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| Wednesday, February 7th, 2007
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1:03 pm - He does it again
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| Monday, January 22nd, 2007
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1:02 pm
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| Thursday, October 19th, 2006
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5:08 am
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So Helena Bonham Carter is playing Mrs. Lovett... now all we need is Winona Ryder as Johanna. I like Johnny Depp. I like Tim Burton. I like Stephen Sondheim. However, I also like beer and wine... and some things, no matter how much you like them, don't mix.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 14th, 2006
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9:23 am
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What I'm about to say is going to be controversial, but I've put a lot of thought into it. I'm not saying that to be impressive; I just want everyone to know this is not a decision I've rushed into by any means. This is an idea that I've been dwelling on for a while, and I think I've finally come to my conclusion. It may shock you, but I firmly believe that history, when it catches up to us, will back me up.
( Here goes... )
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, August 21st, 2006
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4:10 am
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I just found out there are (probably illegal but oh well) clips from Broadway shows at www.youtube.com . This makes me happy.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 7th, 2006
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2:51 pm - I don't know why, but it fits right now...
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Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little piece of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer to me
Still I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer each day
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't want to scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
current mood:  mellow
current music: Cannonball, Damien Rice
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 12th, 2006
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2:09 am
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| Sunday, May 14th, 2006
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6:17 pm
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Water Tower's doing Parade!!!! Not that I have a chance, but that I'll finally get to see it on stage.
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(comment on this)
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